When God is silent!

Do you ever feel that God is ignoring your prayers? Do you ever feel totally separated from Him? Or is it just me? As most of you who are close to us know, we have for the last few months been looking for jobs as we feel God wants us to move, you will also feel I am sure that we are totally bonkers!! I know we are! But I am ok with that!! These last few weeks have been particularly hard as the summer is vast approaching and that means we need to decide about schools for the boys and at what point do we say ok we are staying?!! It has been like an emotional roller coaster of emotions,Clive applies for jobs then we look at the area and then look at schools then we get the email sorry you haven't been short listed then we start all over again!! We pray harder God what shall we do? The boss remains silent! Other prayers gets answered and quickly and a friend reminds me that God is listening and answering you to encourage you that He is not deaf and you are still connected to Him! Phew! Yesterday I took some time out and started journaling with God it's from a book called Journalling as a spiritual practise by Helen Cepero. She suggests you write the date on the page then your name and start writing or waffling in my case to God, then write Gods name and wait and see what comes into your mind! I was sceptical but it was amazing! I read first Proverbs ch 2 v 8 For he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. (Proverbs 2:8 NIV) Which made me realise ok God is just shutting doors and guarding us from error, then I just ranted to Him about all my anxieties mostly regarding my boys! Then I waited and felt God say " you are trying to figure it all out yourself give it to me. It's like your doing a jigsaw and you only see pieces in front of you, I see it from a birds eye view, I see the completed picture. Keep trusting in me" So we are still in the same place of the unknown but I feel more at peace because God knows me and my family and He has us covered!

God knows best!

I have just finished turning my house upside down looking for a lost phone! Well actually I cleared away stuff that had been hidden behind chairs for too long. I then pulled out cushions from sofas moved furniture but still no phone!! After a good half hour in complete desperation I whispered " God please show me where I left my phone" I didn't hear a voice but the thought popped into my mind go look in the box with your lovely present of a hand bag in it, I found the box,opened the lid, no phone! I then opened the new bag and there was my phone! Late last night I had thought, I wonder if my phone fits in my beautiful fancy bag and it obviously did so I left it there!!!! It got me thinking why do I always ask God for wisdom over a situation last and why is He not my first port of call? Another example of this was this week I was totally uninspired when I sat down to prepare for five weeks of our kids club, all I needed was a theme for each week and a memory verse ,I had nothing! I looked at Facebook, checked emails I get easily distracted!! Once again I sent up an arrow prayer "God what shall I do?" Instantly I opened my bible and ideas flowed!!! James ch 1 v 5 says If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. Now believe me I don't always get such quick answers but it has reminded me that when I am lacking on inspiration or need wisdom or guidance why don't I just go to the source of knowledge and creativity insteady of trying to do it alone!! Have you ever heard from your parents those dreaded words "Mum knows best!! Well this mum doesn't!!! I was asked by my oldest an opinion and when I answered 'why ask me?' He said " "because you know best" I reminded him actually I don't because I am human!! Please God help me to realise you always know best And help me to come to you first not last!!

Fear is just a lie!

It was my own fault, it was my idea! For my birthday I booked my family and I to do a high rope challenge!! How hard could it be? I wanted to push myself and have fun celebrating my birthday! The instructer fitted all 12 of us in our harnesses and helmets gave us the safety talk and then it was time!! A grown man after attempting the first challenge had to turn back the fear got to him he was hyperventilating , I smiled smugly to myself and thought what a wuss!!!! It was my turn I clipped myself on and courageously completed the first wobbly challenge then came the second challenge just a very thin rope to walk across!!!I took three steps then froze, that rope would not stay still I felt sick with fear,I so wanted to turn back I almost shouted down to the instructer "can I just come down and miss this one out then go on another!" Then I remembered the quote (you know I like quotes!) 'Fesr is just a lie' I spoke it out loud and took that rope one step at a time! Each challenge was just as difficult there was no easy ride! I had to step of platforms and zip wire to another challenge I had to sit down then push myself off I just couldn't step off into air! I knew that I had safety harnesses on I knew in my head that it would catch me and not let me fall but did I trust the harness did I nelly!!! Yes my name is Angela and I have trust issues!!!! That morning a friend Had given me 2 Corinthian ch 5 v 7 'We walk by faith not by sight' those high rope challenges looked insecure very unsafe and yet I had to have faith that the harness would hold me and it did! In life with God we have a choice to leave in fear, worry anxiety or to trust in the one who is trustworthy! Right now our family are having to walk by faith as God has told us to move on and yet hasn't told us where! It often feels like we are walking with a blindfold on but I know when we need to know the next step the blindfold will be removed and light will be given to us for the next step. at one point of the challenge I was hanging in mid air the harness wa holding me up and the instructer had to come and assist me. A wise friend encouraged me this morning when we were talking about our future that God will not leave you hanging!! Trusting is not all plain sailing it takes faith and determination but I would rather trust than live in the alternative!!!

When your Well is dry!

I don't know about you but if I hear sermons or read a devotional about the same passage then It makes me think God is trying to get my attention, I have been studying the story of the women at the well, then I have heard about three sermons one after the other on the same story!! Each time I keep thinking and asking the same question " what is it? what do you want me to get from this? I know the story!!! It was the worlds women day of prayer last Friday and once again it was based on you guessed it the women at the well! As the lady was speaking on this passage the verse hit me, The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” (John 4:15 NIV) The women wanted a quick fix and once for all drink that would never let her get thirsty again, she would no longer have to keep coming to the well! I am like that women, I come to Jesus and get a fix then think that will do me for a while then when I am running on empty living in my own strength I think Oh I need to go back to Gods well!! God's well never runs dry but I do, if I am to keep giving out I need fresh supplies of living aster otherwise all I am giving is stagnent water not fresh! Have you ever drank from a bottle of water that has been in your room for too long it doesn't taste to good! when you clean the bottle out and pour fresh cold water in it the taste is refreshing. When we drink from gods well of life we become life to others. what's your well like??

Let God out of your box!!

I have been ignorant to believe that God could only speak in certain ways and in certain traditions or practises!

Oh I know that He can and does speak through creation, His word and through people but I still placed Him in a small box! How ignorant of me to think that my journey with God was the right way!!!

I have had the privilege this weekend to be away on a residential course with a group of wonderful Godly people who like me are exploring whether they should become spiritual directors.

I talked to and listened to catholic sisters, catholic priests, baptists, Church of England vicars etc!
I was overwhelmed by the richness of their journeys with God.
I felt accepted loved and part of an extended family, we laughed and cried together as we heard how God has been their constant, their solid foundation throughout their lives.

At the end of the weekend I wrote in my journal the following:
There is a richness in different  practices,baptist, catholic, etc.
God speaks in any and every which way, He cannot and does not stay on one practise,
He cannot be beholden to one,
He breaks through traditions rules and regulations to reach into the soul of His children.
As His children we need to be hospitable to one another, listen to each other hold each other's vulnerable souls and walk along side one another, not try to change the other to be like ourselves but always 'See Christ in the Other'
I never want to stop learning how big God is!!!!

Keep saying " Yes"

"Yes"
"I do"
"I agree"
" Amen"

I have been thinking about words and how powerful they can be!
A child asks his parent for something and they expect the answer to be "No" but instead they get a "Yes" their face lights up, they are amazed!
A man bends his knee and asks his sweetheart for her hand in marriage and his heart bursts when she squeals "Yes". Later on they share vows as they both say " I do! "

I say " Amen" to many of my own heart felt prayers and to other peoples prayers I agree in faith for them.

Saying " Yes " doesn't always mean a once for all 'Yes' it is a constant daily decision to say "Yes"

My own walk with God has to be a constant "Yes I choose to live for you God" " Yes I will have faith even when you are silent." " Yes I will continue to serve even when I don't feel like it!!

Brian D. Mclaren says it beautifully in his book 'Naked spirituality'
Whatever our tradition, we eventually realise that our yes must become, 
not simply an event, but a practise.
each of us must learn to open our yes to the spirit on a moment by moment basis.
Jesus used an image for this practise a branch abiding in a grapevine.
The branch can't bear fruit on its own, but if it abides in the vine it will naturally 
bear fruit season after season.
Yes pruning will come and pruning may be painful, but again, if the branch just abides, just stays
Just says ' yes' season after season, that pruning will result in ever more faithfulness .

Saying " Yes " can often be a sacrifice,in Parenthood, in marriage, in bad health I. Difficult work circumstances praying we all will rely and abide on the one who said " Yes" for us.
Praying God's best for you all in 2014
Keep saying Yes!

The storm will pass and once again the sun will shine

When you ask God if he wants to talk to you about anything, maybe it's not such a good idea to ask that before you go to sleep!!!
I had gone to bed thinking about how many of my loved ones are facing storms or are in a storm and wanting to tell them that the storm they are in or facing yes may bring destruction, heartache and pain but it does pass and the sun soon shines again.
I awoke at 2 am and did the customary trip to the bathroom!! Then laid in bed and the story came into my mind of the disciples in a boat and the storm was raging and where was Jesus? ASLEEP!!

Then it all came together in my mind,  when we are in a storm we feel alone.We may cry out to God but we feel that our prayers are bouncing of the ceiling and we feel that He maybe asleep so we shout a little louder but the storm gets harder! We are like the boat just drifting away being tossed around but then just like in the story the disciples get through to Jesus and He says

" Oh you of little faith why did you doubt, then He ordered the waves to be still and the the storm became calm" Matthew ch  8 v 26

If only it were that easy now right? If only we just cried out to God and He answered our prayers and they all got answered instantly and every storm of life was calmed.

I felt as I drifted back to sleep that God was trying to use that illustration to encourage more faith in me for others and to encourage those in the eye of the storm not to give up , why because
The dark seems often darkest before the dawn breaks and God is faithful!