A season perspective

Here in beautiful England Autumn has arrived, as I drove down a boring motor way I was distracted by all the amazing colour splashed on every tree! The colour makes up for all the rain and fog we get this time of year!
Pretty soon winter will be here, I don't mind this season but it's not my favourite!!

These last few months I know that spiritually I have been in a place where I didn't want to be, life looked a little blacker, God appeared further away and communication with him seemed disconnected.
Then whilst reflecting in the bath!! ( where I do my thinking!) it hit me, I am in a autumn/ winter season a time where things are dieing off and life is just about putting one foot in front of another.

 I  started to think well just like yearly seasons it's only for a time, I just need to embrace it dig deep and know that it is only for a while, this season will pass and I will come into spring again!

Just thought I would share just in case anyone is feeling the same!

A great verse I was reminded of this week was from the book of Job, boy he went through a long winter of his soul where he felt so abandoned by God and everyone told him to just curse God even his wife told him to turn his back on his creator but this was his response
Job ch 2 v 15 Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?
Jobs friends then come and tell him that all his troubles are because of some uncofessed sin in his life and condemned  him!
Job moans,shouts  and cries out to God but he never turns his back on God, just like God didn't abandon Job!
Jobs winter season goes on a long while but then the sun begins to shine and God speaks into his life after a long silence, communication and their relationship is once again restored!

It's all about having a seasonal perspective!

Free from Guilt!

This morning I had the privilege of witnessing a friends husband go through the waters of baptism!
What was amazing about that you wonder? Well he shared his testamony and told the whole church that he had lived as a Muslim for all of his life until very recently!! His wife had met with Jesus and her life had been changed,
I met with her and she told  me that she felt so guilty as a Muslim as she felt she didn't pray enough or well enough! When she gave her life over to Jesus she experienced real freedom from guilt.
This morning her husband testified that he saw such love and compassion in her that he gave his life to Jesus and he too immediately felt this same freedom from guilt!

It made me really think about how we often as Christians beat ourselves with an imaginary whip! We feel the burden of guilt that we don't do enough for God, we don't pray enough, We don't love enough etc etc!! Jesus took all that guilt for us when he died on the cross HE is enough!

Psalm 32 v 5 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the guilt of my sin!'
When we become his child we no longer have to live in guilt we are free!!
Jesus died so that we can be free, it's a gift that we daily need to live in!
Our freedom is not an excuse to go and do what we want but a gift that we live out, loving God and others not because of guilt or obligation but as a response to His love gift to us.
                                               

Faith fact and feeling!

For a while now I have been thinking about how our walk with God can be so messed up because we rely so much on our feelings! I often say " I don't feel close to God, or I haven't felt God's closeness for a while!

Along time ago I heard a story and it really helped me! I hope I can remember it all!!

There were three women waiting for Jesus to pass through their town, they all stood together, the excitement of the crowds was intense. After what felt like an age, Jesus appeared. 

He walked up to the first woman and held her hands and looked into her eyes and spoke gently to her and spent a good ten minutes in conversation. When he walked up to the second woman he smiled and touched her shoulder and then moved straight to the third women, he just smiled at her and walked on by.

The people who were with Jesus were puzzled and asked him " What was all that about? why did you treat each woman so differently? Jesus replied  " The first woman had only just started her journey with me, she was new to faith and needed my time and reassurance, the second one had been a follower for a while and only needed a touch to assure her that I was still part of her life. The third woman had been with me a long time her faith was rooted in the fact that I loved her and always will she didn't need to feel my presence.

I wonder, can you place your self in one of those ladies shoes? It challenged me, is my faith so rooted in my faith in God that I rely solely on Him and not my feelings?

Hebrews ch 11 v 1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

V6 Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

God is so happy when we cling to Him in faith.

My challenge to myself and to you if you choose to accept it is, 

Seek God not an experience or a feeling he may or may not give you. 

Trust in the fact you are loved by Him wether you feel it or not!

When God is silent!

Do you ever feel that God is ignoring your prayers? Do you ever feel totally separated from Him? Or is it just me? As most of you who are close to us know, we have for the last few months been looking for jobs as we feel God wants us to move, you will also feel I am sure that we are totally bonkers!! I know we are! But I am ok with that!! These last few weeks have been particularly hard as the summer is vast approaching and that means we need to decide about schools for the boys and at what point do we say ok we are staying?!! It has been like an emotional roller coaster of emotions,Clive applies for jobs then we look at the area and then look at schools then we get the email sorry you haven't been short listed then we start all over again!! We pray harder God what shall we do? The boss remains silent! Other prayers gets answered and quickly and a friend reminds me that God is listening and answering you to encourage you that He is not deaf and you are still connected to Him! Phew! Yesterday I took some time out and started journaling with God it's from a book called Journalling as a spiritual practise by Helen Cepero. She suggests you write the date on the page then your name and start writing or waffling in my case to God, then write Gods name and wait and see what comes into your mind! I was sceptical but it was amazing! I read first Proverbs ch 2 v 8 For he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. (Proverbs 2:8 NIV) Which made me realise ok God is just shutting doors and guarding us from error, then I just ranted to Him about all my anxieties mostly regarding my boys! Then I waited and felt God say " you are trying to figure it all out yourself give it to me. It's like your doing a jigsaw and you only see pieces in front of you, I see it from a birds eye view, I see the completed picture. Keep trusting in me" So we are still in the same place of the unknown but I feel more at peace because God knows me and my family and He has us covered!

When God is silent!

Do you ever feel that God is ignoring your prayers? Do you ever feel totally separated from Him? Or is it just me? As most of you who are close to us know, we have for the last few months been looking for jobs as we feel God wants us to move, you will also feel I am sure that we are totally bonkers!! I know we are! But I am ok with that!! These last few weeks have been particularly hard as the summer is vast approaching and that means we need to decide about schools for the boys and at what point do we say ok we are staying?!! It has been like an emotional roller coaster of emotions,Clive applies for jobs then we look at the area and then look at schools then we get the email sorry you haven't been short listed then we start all over again!! We pray harder God what shall we do? The boss remains silent! Other prayers gets answered and quickly and a friend reminds me that God is listening and answering you to encourage you that He is not deaf and you are still connected to Him! Phew! Yesterday I took some time out and started journaling with God it's from a book called Journalling as a spiritual practise by Helen Cepero. She suggests you write the date on the page then your name and start writing or waffling in my case to God, then write Gods name and wait and see what comes into your mind! I was sceptical but it was amazing! I read first Proverbs ch 2 v 8 For he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. (Proverbs 2:8 NIV) Which made me realise ok God is just shutting doors and guarding us from error, then I just ranted to Him about all my anxieties mostly regarding my boys! Then I waited and felt God say " you are trying to figure it all out yourself give it to me. It's like your doing a jigsaw and you only see pieces in front of you, I see it from a birds eye view, I see the completed picture. Keep trusting in me" So we are still in the same place of the unknown but I feel more at peace because God knows me and my family and He has us covered!

God knows best!

I have just finished turning my house upside down looking for a lost phone! Well actually I cleared away stuff that had been hidden behind chairs for too long. I then pulled out cushions from sofas moved furniture but still no phone!! After a good half hour in complete desperation I whispered " God please show me where I left my phone" I didn't hear a voice but the thought popped into my mind go look in the box with your lovely present of a hand bag in it, I found the box,opened the lid, no phone! I then opened the new bag and there was my phone! Late last night I had thought, I wonder if my phone fits in my beautiful fancy bag and it obviously did so I left it there!!!! It got me thinking why do I always ask God for wisdom over a situation last and why is He not my first port of call? Another example of this was this week I was totally uninspired when I sat down to prepare for five weeks of our kids club, all I needed was a theme for each week and a memory verse ,I had nothing! I looked at Facebook, checked emails I get easily distracted!! Once again I sent up an arrow prayer "God what shall I do?" Instantly I opened my bible and ideas flowed!!! James ch 1 v 5 says If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. Now believe me I don't always get such quick answers but it has reminded me that when I am lacking on inspiration or need wisdom or guidance why don't I just go to the source of knowledge and creativity insteady of trying to do it alone!! Have you ever heard from your parents those dreaded words "Mum knows best!! Well this mum doesn't!!! I was asked by my oldest an opinion and when I answered 'why ask me?' He said " "because you know best" I reminded him actually I don't because I am human!! Please God help me to realise you always know best And help me to come to you first not last!!

Fear is just a lie!

It was my own fault, it was my idea! For my birthday I booked my family and I to do a high rope challenge!! How hard could it be? I wanted to push myself and have fun celebrating my birthday! The instructer fitted all 12 of us in our harnesses and helmets gave us the safety talk and then it was time!! A grown man after attempting the first challenge had to turn back the fear got to him he was hyperventilating , I smiled smugly to myself and thought what a wuss!!!! It was my turn I clipped myself on and courageously completed the first wobbly challenge then came the second challenge just a very thin rope to walk across!!!I took three steps then froze, that rope would not stay still I felt sick with fear,I so wanted to turn back I almost shouted down to the instructer "can I just come down and miss this one out then go on another!" Then I remembered the quote (you know I like quotes!) 'Fesr is just a lie' I spoke it out loud and took that rope one step at a time! Each challenge was just as difficult there was no easy ride! I had to step of platforms and zip wire to another challenge I had to sit down then push myself off I just couldn't step off into air! I knew that I had safety harnesses on I knew in my head that it would catch me and not let me fall but did I trust the harness did I nelly!!! Yes my name is Angela and I have trust issues!!!! That morning a friend Had given me 2 Corinthian ch 5 v 7 'We walk by faith not by sight' those high rope challenges looked insecure very unsafe and yet I had to have faith that the harness would hold me and it did! In life with God we have a choice to leave in fear, worry anxiety or to trust in the one who is trustworthy! Right now our family are having to walk by faith as God has told us to move on and yet hasn't told us where! It often feels like we are walking with a blindfold on but I know when we need to know the next step the blindfold will be removed and light will be given to us for the next step. at one point of the challenge I was hanging in mid air the harness wa holding me up and the instructer had to come and assist me. A wise friend encouraged me this morning when we were talking about our future that God will not leave you hanging!! Trusting is not all plain sailing it takes faith and determination but I would rather trust than live in the alternative!!!