How soft is your heart?
These past few weeks I have been thinking of what makes for a hard heart!!!
Often I am cynical towards people or situations and have been doubting Gods provision or presence and realised that's my heart hardening!!
A lovely friend and I were talking together in my kitchen about how easily we forget all God has done for us and suddenly the story of the Israelites popped into my head!
In Exodus 13 we read how Moses had been called by God to go up the mountain and were not told how long he was up there but the Israelites obviously got fed up of waiting so they start saying to each other well Gods gone quiet let's make our own God to worship and they collect all the gold the can find, melt it and make a golden calf!
Moses comes down having met with God and sees them worshiping a huge lump of metal!!
These Israelites had forgotten that God had-
Rescued them from slavery
Made a path through a raging sea
Gave the a daily feast of manna and quail and
Provided fresh water out of a rock!
There hearts had grown hard maybe because they had become impatient for Gods timing and definitely because they had forgotten His faithfulness in the past!
This really challenged me as this last week I had definitely forgotten all that God had done for me and so had become despondent! My sister reminded me of all the ways He had been faithful and it softened my heart and I began to recall his goodness and started trusting again!
A lovely lady once said she asked God to show her heart and it helped her to see the areas in her life that needed to change!
Not forgiving doesn't affect the person who your angry against it effects you and leads to bitterness. Selfishness, resentment and not been thankful all leads to hardness of hearts.
I don't know about you but I want a soft heart where God can speak into and where I can grow intimate with him!
Saturday, 22 July 2017
Tuesday, 30 May 2017
Dig for treasure
Isn't it easy to complain about people and complain about hard your day is going?
Not so easy to find the gold in your day or the person who is pushing all your buttons!
A week or two a go I was driving to a meeting and it was like God dropped a picture into my mind of someone hunting for treasure with a metal detector they can spend a lot of time listening for that beep that tells them that something shiny is buried beneath them, when they do hear that sound they have a choice they can drop their detector and start digging or they can ignore it and carry on searching!
If they choose to dig it can be dirty work they have to get through a lots of dirt before they find that glistening piece of gold or treasure.
People and situations can be like hunting for treasure we have to almost ignore all the crappy bits and hunt for the beauty that is hidden deep inside!
Today we have to pay a car bill as the car broke! Where's the treasure in that?? Well I'm thankful we are all safe and we have loving family who drive us home!
Digging for treasure is making yourself stop and be thankful but also its good practise to bring out the gold in other people! People need to be reminded that they have treasure within them yes even the most of difficult people!
Dig for gold people not for dirt!
Friday, 21 April 2017
Anyone up for feet washing??
My Easter really started when I led a mediation on John ch 13 and it has stuck with me!
Jesus was with his disciples and he knew who was going to betray and disown him and yet he still knelt before them and washed their dusty smelly feet.
As I read this well known passage again I wondered did Jesus enjoy doing the very humble act of washing the bare, calloused, dirty toe nailed feet? Probably not, but he did it to set us, his followers as an example to follow.
John ch 13: 14 &15 Now that I, your Lord have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
So how do we do this in today's society? Thank the dear Lord I don't have to go round literally washing feet!! But I have been thinking about how I can wash people feet metaphorically.
It goes back to my last post #lovingwell! All people really need from us is love and acceptance.
When Jesus commanded us to love one another he didn't add, " only if they deserve it" or " if they are worthy or without sin"
He didn't call us to condemn, He called us to love!
He didn't call us to criticise, He called us to love!
He didn't call us to judge, He called us to love!
He didn't call us belittle, He called us to love!
Maybe washing people's feet is as simple as sitting with someone as they wait for a doctors appointment, or taking the time to listen when they are struggling or taking a meal around when you know someone is sick.
Showing we love one another doesn't have to be extravagant gestures. We have just got to love!
Jesus was with his disciples and he knew who was going to betray and disown him and yet he still knelt before them and washed their dusty smelly feet.
As I read this well known passage again I wondered did Jesus enjoy doing the very humble act of washing the bare, calloused, dirty toe nailed feet? Probably not, but he did it to set us, his followers as an example to follow.
John ch 13: 14 &15 Now that I, your Lord have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
So how do we do this in today's society? Thank the dear Lord I don't have to go round literally washing feet!! But I have been thinking about how I can wash people feet metaphorically.
It goes back to my last post #lovingwell! All people really need from us is love and acceptance.
When Jesus commanded us to love one another he didn't add, " only if they deserve it" or " if they are worthy or without sin"
He didn't call us to condemn, He called us to love!
He didn't call us to criticise, He called us to love!
He didn't call us to judge, He called us to love!
He didn't call us belittle, He called us to love!
Maybe washing people's feet is as simple as sitting with someone as they wait for a doctors appointment, or taking the time to listen when they are struggling or taking a meal around when you know someone is sick.
Showing we love one another doesn't have to be extravagant gestures. We have just got to love!
Thursday, 16 February 2017
#Lovewell
#Lovewell
A friend who cares for my soul asked me at the start of the year what I wanted to work on this year or what was going to be my mantra, with in seconds "Love well" came out of my mouth!
Why couldn't I of thought of something easier??!
How do we love well? or as I comically call it hashtag #lovewell
Confession time! I struggle with loving well, oh with some people it's easy, others not so much but why?
On Sunday in a sermon I heard this quote as he read out the first line I got mad!
'True love is inexhaustible ..... The more you give the more you have..'
Well I drifted at that point and thought, no, I don't agree! the more I give, the more drained I am.
I get pretty exhausted and flat. I don't have this never ending fount of love that just keeps pouring from me like a magic jug that never seem to run out!
The quote didn't stop there though!!
If you go and draw at the fountain head , the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
There's the secret and my huge mistake! The love that I tend to give out and run out of is my own love, this very wise man is talking about going to the one whose Love is pure like fresh water and it never runs dry.
The more I come to God for his unconditional, pure, selfless, patient, kind and gentle love the more I will have to give and the more I will love well.
My challenge for this year then is not to muster my own love and love through gritted teeth but to keep coming to God and soaking in his love and letting it pour out of me!!
In John ch 3 v 35 we read
By your love all men shall know you are my disciples if you have love for one another!
The worlds kind of love is conditional and selfish, Gods love blows people's mind!
If we loved the way God loved us the world would be a completely different place!
A friend who cares for my soul asked me at the start of the year what I wanted to work on this year or what was going to be my mantra, with in seconds "Love well" came out of my mouth!
Why couldn't I of thought of something easier??!
How do we love well? or as I comically call it hashtag #lovewell
Confession time! I struggle with loving well, oh with some people it's easy, others not so much but why?
On Sunday in a sermon I heard this quote as he read out the first line I got mad!
'True love is inexhaustible ..... The more you give the more you have..'
Well I drifted at that point and thought, no, I don't agree! the more I give, the more drained I am.
I get pretty exhausted and flat. I don't have this never ending fount of love that just keeps pouring from me like a magic jug that never seem to run out!
The quote didn't stop there though!!
If you go and draw at the fountain head , the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
There's the secret and my huge mistake! The love that I tend to give out and run out of is my own love, this very wise man is talking about going to the one whose Love is pure like fresh water and it never runs dry.
The more I come to God for his unconditional, pure, selfless, patient, kind and gentle love the more I will have to give and the more I will love well.
My challenge for this year then is not to muster my own love and love through gritted teeth but to keep coming to God and soaking in his love and letting it pour out of me!!
In John ch 3 v 35 we read
By your love all men shall know you are my disciples if you have love for one another!
The worlds kind of love is conditional and selfish, Gods love blows people's mind!
If we loved the way God loved us the world would be a completely different place!
Thursday, 22 September 2016
Lessons from sheep!
I love people and I love hearing their life stories and I love it when people share their God story and of how Jesus comes into their lives.
I often feel so deeply for people that I just want to take their painful bit from their story and erase it so they no longer have to feel or remember that painful part of their lives.
The thing is that often the painful part of our story is what Jesus tends to use the most! Jesus is in the business of making the broken into something beautiful.
It's also the part in our lives that makes us vulnerable and that makes people able to relate to us.
He uses our pain often to help us realise that we can't do life on our own we need him in our lives we need people who love us around us to encourage and build us up.
I have a beautiful carving of a shepherd carrying a lamb, I love lambs they are so fragile looking so reliant on their mothers and their shepherd to feed them and to keep them safe.
The thing is like us, lambs often get into messes, they fall down ditches they get stuck in brambles they stray way too far from their mothers.
A good shepherd doesn't just leave them in their messes,He hears their bleating and goes looking for them, He comes and pulls them out, cleans their wounds and carries them to safety.
That carving is a daily reminder to me that I need to keep coming to my good shepherd. Who loves me and will carry me through the mess and is always with me.
Keeping with the sheep analogy we can often feel like we are in a drove (had to look up on google what you call a group of sheep) of sheep and yet can feel alone, especially in our own pain) we can feel insignificant, unloved etc. When we bleat out Jesus name he immediately turns his head towards us and thinks wow Ang is talking to me He is so excited that we have called out his name beciase loves it when we talk to him. He reminds us we are not alone!
He tenderly cares for us and loves us, we only just have to remember to keep talking and listening to him! Just as a sheep needs to stay close to the shepherd to be fed a be cared for we need to remember to stay close to Jesus.
Wherever you are right now remember Jesus is your good shepherd keep calling out to him He loves you and wants to care for you just rest in Him.
I often feel so deeply for people that I just want to take their painful bit from their story and erase it so they no longer have to feel or remember that painful part of their lives.
The thing is that often the painful part of our story is what Jesus tends to use the most! Jesus is in the business of making the broken into something beautiful.
It's also the part in our lives that makes us vulnerable and that makes people able to relate to us.
He uses our pain often to help us realise that we can't do life on our own we need him in our lives we need people who love us around us to encourage and build us up.
I have a beautiful carving of a shepherd carrying a lamb, I love lambs they are so fragile looking so reliant on their mothers and their shepherd to feed them and to keep them safe.
The thing is like us, lambs often get into messes, they fall down ditches they get stuck in brambles they stray way too far from their mothers.
A good shepherd doesn't just leave them in their messes,He hears their bleating and goes looking for them, He comes and pulls them out, cleans their wounds and carries them to safety.
That carving is a daily reminder to me that I need to keep coming to my good shepherd. Who loves me and will carry me through the mess and is always with me.
Keeping with the sheep analogy we can often feel like we are in a drove (had to look up on google what you call a group of sheep) of sheep and yet can feel alone, especially in our own pain) we can feel insignificant, unloved etc. When we bleat out Jesus name he immediately turns his head towards us and thinks wow Ang is talking to me He is so excited that we have called out his name beciase loves it when we talk to him. He reminds us we are not alone!
He tenderly cares for us and loves us, we only just have to remember to keep talking and listening to him! Just as a sheep needs to stay close to the shepherd to be fed a be cared for we need to remember to stay close to Jesus.
Wherever you are right now remember Jesus is your good shepherd keep calling out to him He loves you and wants to care for you just rest in Him.
“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.”
Isaiah 40:11 NIV
http://bible.com/111/isa.40.11.niv
Thursday, 2 June 2016
lift my eyes to the hills where does my help come from?
My help comes from the maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121 v 1
I have been thinking a lot about this verse lately why? I guess because I have been looking up a lot! lifting my hands up to God praying mainly out of despair, praying for situations to change etc.
In the last few weeks I have had so many prayers answered it's been miraculous, people's hearts have been changed, hope has been given, paths have been made straight.
And it has surprised me!!! That's the bit that has challenged me the most, here I am praying and when He answers I'm shocked!!
My God has become too small and this brings me to Psalm 121 it reminds me that God made heaven and earth
God spoke and life came into being, the sun was formed at His command, He made man out of the dust of the earth, He divided the waters to make land and so the list goes on!
If God created the world, whatever I pray for is nothing in comparison.
Nothing is too difficult or impossible for God!
My prayers need to match the God I am praying too!!
Gods love language is faith! He loves it when His children trust Him and come to Him and pray in Faith.
How big is your God?
Wednesday, 11 May 2016
What lense are you looking through?
So my phone had a collision with some gravel and its once clean smooth screen now looks like it has been shot! It has cracks and makes everything look disfigured!
The thing is I have now gotten used to it! When I type a message I just have to look a little closer to see if the words are not misspelt! When I watch a clip I almost think the cracks and the bullet looking hole is a part of the clip!! That's crazy right?
I videoed a beautiful sunrise the other day and when I posted it on Instagram it was even more beautiful because the cracks were not shown!!!!!
I am sure you know where I am going with this! Life can be looked at in many different ways, almost like lenses! We can look at things through the love lens the thankful lens the anger lens!
The list goes on.
This week I have looked through life through the lens of anger! And boy it's not been pretty!
It's also been exhausting! Carrying anger towards people and situations is so draining!
The other morning I went for a march along the sea front where I videoed the sunrise and I cried out to God " let me see things through your lens not my own!" Unfortunately I didn't get brand new eyes but I had a sense of relief that slowly God was going to help me see things differently and that I didn't have to carry this burden of anger anymore.
Life does not always go to plan and we get confused and angry the best person to express that anger to is God! He can take it!
God is God I am not!! He sees the bigger picture!
*Warning I am going to take a verse out of context but it illustrates perfectly what I am feeling at the moment so please forgive me!*
1 Corinthians ch 13 v 12
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part ; then I shall know fully even as I am fully known.
God shows us little by little and that to us is confusing but when we meet him face to face all will be revealed!!!
The thing is I have now gotten used to it! When I type a message I just have to look a little closer to see if the words are not misspelt! When I watch a clip I almost think the cracks and the bullet looking hole is a part of the clip!! That's crazy right?
I videoed a beautiful sunrise the other day and when I posted it on Instagram it was even more beautiful because the cracks were not shown!!!!!
I am sure you know where I am going with this! Life can be looked at in many different ways, almost like lenses! We can look at things through the love lens the thankful lens the anger lens!
The list goes on.
This week I have looked through life through the lens of anger! And boy it's not been pretty!
It's also been exhausting! Carrying anger towards people and situations is so draining!
The other morning I went for a march along the sea front where I videoed the sunrise and I cried out to God " let me see things through your lens not my own!" Unfortunately I didn't get brand new eyes but I had a sense of relief that slowly God was going to help me see things differently and that I didn't have to carry this burden of anger anymore.
Life does not always go to plan and we get confused and angry the best person to express that anger to is God! He can take it!
God is God I am not!! He sees the bigger picture!
*Warning I am going to take a verse out of context but it illustrates perfectly what I am feeling at the moment so please forgive me!*
1 Corinthians ch 13 v 12
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part ; then I shall know fully even as I am fully known.
God shows us little by little and that to us is confusing but when we meet him face to face all will be revealed!!!
Wednesday, 6 April 2016
Unity in diversity
Unity in diversity
As a leadership team in church we have been reading and re reading Romans and although there is some gems all the way through the book it's not my favourite!
Today I read three verses that blew me away and challenged me!
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
Romans 15:5-7 NIV
http://bible.com/111/rom.15.5-7.niv
To me this is talking about unity and accepting one another! Why is this so important? Well it really pleases God.
So when I am not loving and accepting someone and not loving them I am not pleasing God!!
All of you who know me know that I am a people person, I am an extrovert! I love being with people although I also love my own company!! This does not mean I am an angel and I accept and love everyone!! ( gasps of horror! now I've fallen off my pedestal!!)
In fact it's my biggest struggle!
God loves and accepts me at my very worst, why then would I not show that same unconditional acceptance to others?
I started to think what does unity look like? The dictionary definition is
' being one, the opposite of being divided'
Then I remembered a great example of unity that didn't feel like unity at the time!
My dear mother was dying and we,her three very different daughters took it turns to care for her a week at a time! She soon noticed that we all cared for in different ways! My oldest sister my mum called the 'Sergeant Major' ( which she really is not, she is the most gentle out of all of us!!) because she did everything by the book if the nurse said she should no longer have sugar as she was starting to show signs of diabetes,she cut it out of diet, she made sure that mum had what she wanted though, I remember her buying her some beautiful silk pyjamas that mother loved. My other sister would read to her and sit with her and mum called her the gentle giant as she would dry my mums hair with gentleness.
Then there was me!! The rebellious one! I remember letting her eat a tablespoon of syrup because she wanted it and her blood sugar went through the roof. We all knew she was dying let her die happy was my mantra!! She asked for her toe nails to be painted red! She never had them done in her life well I painted them!
Her last days all three of us came together and cared for her! All very different in our personalities and our caring but we had one goal to care for mum to make her last days be filled with love. One day mum said to all three of us " There is diversity in unity"
It has stuck with me, why? because this is what God wants the church to be like, each of us to be our diverse selves but to be one in our purpose, to Love Him and to love others and to accept and love one another to bring glory to His name.
The world is watching and wouldn't it be amazing if we, a mixed bag of weird, unique Christians with all different ways of worship and theological views just loved and accepted one another without being critical or unkind! God would be so glorified and people just might turn to Him because of our unity!
As a leadership team in church we have been reading and re reading Romans and although there is some gems all the way through the book it's not my favourite!
Today I read three verses that blew me away and challenged me!
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
Romans 15:5-7 NIV
http://bible.com/111/rom.15.5-7.niv
To me this is talking about unity and accepting one another! Why is this so important? Well it really pleases God.
So when I am not loving and accepting someone and not loving them I am not pleasing God!!
All of you who know me know that I am a people person, I am an extrovert! I love being with people although I also love my own company!! This does not mean I am an angel and I accept and love everyone!! ( gasps of horror! now I've fallen off my pedestal!!)
In fact it's my biggest struggle!
God loves and accepts me at my very worst, why then would I not show that same unconditional acceptance to others?
I started to think what does unity look like? The dictionary definition is
' being one, the opposite of being divided'
Then I remembered a great example of unity that didn't feel like unity at the time!
My dear mother was dying and we,her three very different daughters took it turns to care for her a week at a time! She soon noticed that we all cared for in different ways! My oldest sister my mum called the 'Sergeant Major' ( which she really is not, she is the most gentle out of all of us!!) because she did everything by the book if the nurse said she should no longer have sugar as she was starting to show signs of diabetes,she cut it out of diet, she made sure that mum had what she wanted though, I remember her buying her some beautiful silk pyjamas that mother loved. My other sister would read to her and sit with her and mum called her the gentle giant as she would dry my mums hair with gentleness.
Then there was me!! The rebellious one! I remember letting her eat a tablespoon of syrup because she wanted it and her blood sugar went through the roof. We all knew she was dying let her die happy was my mantra!! She asked for her toe nails to be painted red! She never had them done in her life well I painted them!
Her last days all three of us came together and cared for her! All very different in our personalities and our caring but we had one goal to care for mum to make her last days be filled with love. One day mum said to all three of us " There is diversity in unity"
It has stuck with me, why? because this is what God wants the church to be like, each of us to be our diverse selves but to be one in our purpose, to Love Him and to love others and to accept and love one another to bring glory to His name.
The world is watching and wouldn't it be amazing if we, a mixed bag of weird, unique Christians with all different ways of worship and theological views just loved and accepted one another without being critical or unkind! God would be so glorified and people just might turn to Him because of our unity!
Monday, 26 October 2015
Lessons from seagulls
I had been running on empty for a while, oh I had been taking a few minutes each day reading and trying to pray but my mind was full to over flowing with lists of things still undone,people not spent time with, courses to teach and prepare for and to be honest I was totally overwhelmed and exhausted!
I had dropped the boys off at school and I had ten minutes before a next meeting, I bought a hot chocolate and parked up.
My view was the Marina, calm waters, boats bobbing, the sky a beautiful red! My companions? Five seagulls all walking around puddles, one teenage seagull fighting with a leaf thinking it was food!
I hadn't opened my bible that morning but had it with me in the car and I opened it, still distracted by the seagulls who by the way are not my favourite bird especially as they dive bomb our car just after it has been washed and they always leave their mark on it!
I started reading Matthew ch 11, I got to v 28 Jesus is speaking "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest" well I just about held it together but I choked up! I didn't need to read on as I knew the verse and I knew God had got my attention! I let that verse go round and round in my head and I looked out of the window and there a seagull was drinking from a puddle of water, it hit me even seagulls know where to get their sustenance from, only fifty feet away was a mass of water that they could go drink from but they knew it was salt water and was not good for them but that puddle was fresh and refreshing!
I had been running on empty as I had not been going to the one who is always available to listen, refresh, sustain, give life, give strength, give wisdom and the list goes on!
How foolish I often am that I think I can do things on my own and in my own strength!
I am so thankful to God who is so patient and kind and gentle and who uses my least favourite bird to speak to me!!! And who is always available and willing to give His children all that we need.
Monday, 24 August 2015
Words that harm Words that heal
You have the phrase many times 'Words can hurt words can heal' Yes? Well I have been dwelling on that for some time!
I have been reading and re reading 2 Peter ch 1 It's slowly but surely sinking into my soul!! It's all good so go read it!
v 5 says Make every effort to add to your faith goodness,and to goodness, knowledge and to knowledge self control well day three of reading that same chapter that last word hit me!
You see I can talk about many things in my life that I need more self control in but God seemed to highlight this word to me in regard to my tongue!!
The image of a gun came to mind of words shooting out of a gun like a bullet and piercing someone's heart with it!
It made me cringe at how many times I have reacted to people with a sarcastic comment or a harsh word without even thinking of how that person would receive it!
I then had an image of a water pistol pop in my head and I thought a water pistol showers out water and usually causes laughter and fun unless you hate getting wet!
The thought came I want to be a water pistol showering blessings of encouragement to people ( this includes my children, if you can't put it into practise at home there is something wrong!,) not be a gun shooting harmful discouragements to people!
So that's my challenge eek now it's down in black and white I have to put it into practise!!!
I have been reading and re reading 2 Peter ch 1 It's slowly but surely sinking into my soul!! It's all good so go read it!
v 5 says Make every effort to add to your faith goodness,and to goodness, knowledge and to knowledge self control well day three of reading that same chapter that last word hit me!
You see I can talk about many things in my life that I need more self control in but God seemed to highlight this word to me in regard to my tongue!!
The image of a gun came to mind of words shooting out of a gun like a bullet and piercing someone's heart with it!
It made me cringe at how many times I have reacted to people with a sarcastic comment or a harsh word without even thinking of how that person would receive it!
I then had an image of a water pistol pop in my head and I thought a water pistol showers out water and usually causes laughter and fun unless you hate getting wet!
The thought came I want to be a water pistol showering blessings of encouragement to people ( this includes my children, if you can't put it into practise at home there is something wrong!,) not be a gun shooting harmful discouragements to people!
So that's my challenge eek now it's down in black and white I have to put it into practise!!!
Thursday, 2 July 2015
Have you ever had one of those days where your head is so full and people keeping keep talking and you want them to stop them because you can't contain any more information or your heart can't take any more emotion?
I have had a week like that! Sometimes I have felt like I can't breathe and I just need someone to give me more oxygen!
Anyone who knows me knows I really don't like roller coasters as I hurt my head really bad on one!
Well this week has felt like an emotional roller coaster!
We have had to make big decisions as a family, I thought I had lost two years of work in my iPad, finances have caused us stress, a loved one has died, and I have to watch my loved one start the grieving process. I wanted to scream "Stop the world I want to get off!,"
My mantra 'Don't let ANYTHING get bigger that GOD' has been sorely tasted and I know I have taken my eyes of HIM.
The words of this song by Holly Starr and the prayers of my dear friends have given me spiritual oxygen!
The noise is overwhelming and taking control
I've let my fear consume me, it won't let go
Where has my faith been hiding? I'd like to know
I've come to this conclusion in search of hope
Lord, I really need to stop right now
Stop now and focus on You
Even with the chaos all around
I'll stop now and focus on You
Confusion all around me, my head's a mess
I want to close my eyes but can't seem to rest
Your words help me remember, I can't forget
Your peace is always faithful and has no end
Why do I feel so blind? I'm gonna stop this time
And surrender, and surrender to You
Lord, I really need to stop right now
Stop now and focus on You
Even with the chaos all around
I'll stop now and focus on You
The only place I have found peace is in prayer!
Just to encourage anyone who is reading this stop and refocus.xx
Thursday, 28 May 2015
Suffering and God!!!!
Lots of questions have been going through my mind this last month about pain, suffering, illness, and heart ache. Many people ask "Where is God in it all?!"
If you are in that place where you are wondering and questioning, I am Sorry you may not find all the answers in my humble blog! But you may find comfort in what I share!!
This last month I have paced hospital corridors whilst a loved one was in surgery, I have been laid up in bed with sever back pain, I then once again walked the long corridors of another hospital visiting another loved one who was suffering!
I have listened to dear friends going through loss and anxiety, I have attended too many funerals in
these last few months which has made my heart ache for those who got left behind.
And yes I have got mad with God to the point where I thought what's the point of talking to Him anymore!!
I have started to read again a book called Jesus Calling I haven't read if for a couple of years. as I opened it up the other day it led me to this well known verse,
John Ch.16 v 33 I have told you these things so that in ME you may have peace. in this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart I have over come the world.
There it is, in black and white Jesus warning us that there will always be trouble in this world we have to expect it! But in the midst of that trouble if we let Jesus in to whatever our struggle or pain is he gives us the peace to cope with it.
In the hospital wards when I was pacing I would go down the 'what if road' 'what if they die' etc I
started to feel anxiety, when I started praying and giving it to God I felt peace.
Another challenging verse I read is 'Draw near to God and He will draw near to you!' James ch 4 v 8
I know I have been ignoring God and running away from Him or just telling Him what I think he should be doing!!!I miss His closeness then rant about God not being there when all the time it has been me moving away from Him!
When I stop and let God in, peace gradually seeps in and I realise afresh my deepest need is not to have answers but just to be close to the one who has it all in His mighty big hands!!
So maybe not answers to deep questions but just a thought that maybe I/we need to let God be God and keep talking and questioning Him and yes get angry with Him ( He can take it he has mighty big shoulders!!) as long as we keep communicating with Him we are still walking with Him, we just need to let Him in.
Let his closeness bring you peace x
If you are in that place where you are wondering and questioning, I am Sorry you may not find all the answers in my humble blog! But you may find comfort in what I share!!
This last month I have paced hospital corridors whilst a loved one was in surgery, I have been laid up in bed with sever back pain, I then once again walked the long corridors of another hospital visiting another loved one who was suffering!
I have listened to dear friends going through loss and anxiety, I have attended too many funerals in
these last few months which has made my heart ache for those who got left behind.
And yes I have got mad with God to the point where I thought what's the point of talking to Him anymore!!
I have started to read again a book called Jesus Calling I haven't read if for a couple of years. as I opened it up the other day it led me to this well known verse,
John Ch.16 v 33 I have told you these things so that in ME you may have peace. in this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart I have over come the world.
There it is, in black and white Jesus warning us that there will always be trouble in this world we have to expect it! But in the midst of that trouble if we let Jesus in to whatever our struggle or pain is he gives us the peace to cope with it.
In the hospital wards when I was pacing I would go down the 'what if road' 'what if they die' etc I
started to feel anxiety, when I started praying and giving it to God I felt peace.
Another challenging verse I read is 'Draw near to God and He will draw near to you!' James ch 4 v 8
I know I have been ignoring God and running away from Him or just telling Him what I think he should be doing!!!I miss His closeness then rant about God not being there when all the time it has been me moving away from Him!
When I stop and let God in, peace gradually seeps in and I realise afresh my deepest need is not to have answers but just to be close to the one who has it all in His mighty big hands!!
So maybe not answers to deep questions but just a thought that maybe I/we need to let God be God and keep talking and questioning Him and yes get angry with Him ( He can take it he has mighty big shoulders!!) as long as we keep communicating with Him we are still walking with Him, we just need to let Him in.
Let his closeness bring you peace x
Sunday, 5 April 2015
Lessons from Lent
Lessons from Lent!
Thank the dear Lord lent is over,and that Easter has arrived!
This Lent I gave myself the challenge of giving up facebook and writing 40 cards in 40 days!
Day 1 I felt very virtuous as I took off my facbook app from my phone and replaced it with the bible app! I thought I would read a lent devotional at the same time as my other challenges, I am a all or nothing kind of girl!!
The first couple off weeks went well, I really didn't miss what everyone was doing on a day to day basis and definetely didn't miss negative statuses.
I enjoyed connecting with people through snail mail!
By week 3 I was feeling disconected with others and thought that is really sad as on Facebook I don't see people I just follow and comment on their lives!
It really got me thinking about community and how we were created to live in community and how we need one another to challenge and encourage each other.
These last 40 days I have not only felt disconnected with people but also felt disconnnected to God I have been reading and praying but doing it out of duty not out of desire.
I have met with good friends in person and through facetime and through conversation I have learnt that I have been pretty deflated and have been angry towards the church and at God about life and how broken people are and how God doesnt always mend everything!
Then I started reading a book called Reckess faith that a good friend lent me, let me share with you a few lines that grabbed me!
Beth Guckenberger writes 'Is my faith reckless enough to trust first and think second?
Can I grow faith strong enough like a muscle that when it has to pick up heavy reality, I can easilyl lift it and still have hope? That doesn't mean I don't think about consequensess and pain. but I layer those on top of faith instead of the other way round. When we try to layer faith on top, all the doubts and question on the bottom make for an unstable foundation, and it almost always cracks. But when we have faith at the base,the questions, when they come, don't insist on being answered right away.
Reckless faith isn't fake,It doesn't pretend, It feels deeply and lives fully. It asks questions and cries out and tests boundaries. It has dynamic conversations with God. It molds its understanding as it encounters new situations and experiences new growth. "God has a plan" is not a cliche or sticky plaster you put on wounds that aren't healing. 'God has a plan" is a mantra for a way of life that says you dont have all the answers to proceed. You can throw yourself to the red sea and believe if it parts, praise God! You knew it.
How does it open? why does it open now, when it didnt earlier? Why did it close on the Egyptians? to those questions , you apply faith that acts first and thinks second, Not in mindless obedience, but with childlke faith.
This spoke right into my being and has given me hope and as lent has finished I can get start to talk to God again not out of duty but out of desire! so my journey continues with God and people!
Missed you all!
Thank God for Easter!!!
Thank the dear Lord lent is over,and that Easter has arrived!
This Lent I gave myself the challenge of giving up facebook and writing 40 cards in 40 days!
Day 1 I felt very virtuous as I took off my facbook app from my phone and replaced it with the bible app! I thought I would read a lent devotional at the same time as my other challenges, I am a all or nothing kind of girl!!
The first couple off weeks went well, I really didn't miss what everyone was doing on a day to day basis and definetely didn't miss negative statuses.
I enjoyed connecting with people through snail mail!
By week 3 I was feeling disconected with others and thought that is really sad as on Facebook I don't see people I just follow and comment on their lives!
It really got me thinking about community and how we were created to live in community and how we need one another to challenge and encourage each other.
These last 40 days I have not only felt disconnected with people but also felt disconnnected to God I have been reading and praying but doing it out of duty not out of desire.
I have met with good friends in person and through facetime and through conversation I have learnt that I have been pretty deflated and have been angry towards the church and at God about life and how broken people are and how God doesnt always mend everything!
Then I started reading a book called Reckess faith that a good friend lent me, let me share with you a few lines that grabbed me!
Beth Guckenberger writes 'Is my faith reckless enough to trust first and think second?
Can I grow faith strong enough like a muscle that when it has to pick up heavy reality, I can easilyl lift it and still have hope? That doesn't mean I don't think about consequensess and pain. but I layer those on top of faith instead of the other way round. When we try to layer faith on top, all the doubts and question on the bottom make for an unstable foundation, and it almost always cracks. But when we have faith at the base,the questions, when they come, don't insist on being answered right away.
Reckless faith isn't fake,It doesn't pretend, It feels deeply and lives fully. It asks questions and cries out and tests boundaries. It has dynamic conversations with God. It molds its understanding as it encounters new situations and experiences new growth. "God has a plan" is not a cliche or sticky plaster you put on wounds that aren't healing. 'God has a plan" is a mantra for a way of life that says you dont have all the answers to proceed. You can throw yourself to the red sea and believe if it parts, praise God! You knew it.
How does it open? why does it open now, when it didnt earlier? Why did it close on the Egyptians? to those questions , you apply faith that acts first and thinks second, Not in mindless obedience, but with childlke faith.
This spoke right into my being and has given me hope and as lent has finished I can get start to talk to God again not out of duty but out of desire! so my journey continues with God and people!
Missed you all!
Thank God for Easter!!!
Saturday, 17 January 2015
What if church was more like coffee shops!
What if Church was more like Coffee Shops!
This last week I found myself wandering the streets of Stockton as I waited for my sick guitar to be fixed!!!( that's another story!!) I decided after I had gone in a few shops that as I was passing Cafe Nero I would pop in! ( I wasn't going to name the coffee shop but we name and shame establishments, so today I am gong to name and give them some fame!!)
I walked in, it was warm and the barista was bantering with his colleague, before I even asked for a drink I asked to use the facilities he smiled and gave me the key. I came back ordered my drink
(I am sorry to all my coffee drinking friends that I only ordered a peppermint tea!!! )
He asked me if I had a loyalty card I said that I didn't have one and he asked if I would like one when I said that I did not , he looked me in the eye sadly and said "Will you not be returning ever?" This made me chuckle! I told him that I didn't live in the town but thanked him for the tea and walked out of the shop. as I meandered back to the guitar shop sipping warm cup of tea I was smiling! Why? That man did his job well, he made me feel welcomed and special!
I started to think how often I have been to Coffee shops and felt the same and others where the barista has been too stressed to show any care for their customers!!
I started to think about community and how Churches should may be take note at how good Coffee establishments treat their customers and that we as a church could follow their example and make people feel so welcome and special. I was not ridiculed for ordering peppermint tea when there was so many different luxurious coffees available, as a church family,welcoming people in means accepting them where they are at even if they don't yet believe what we believe.
May be another idea for churches you could provide good coffee!!!
This last week I found myself wandering the streets of Stockton as I waited for my sick guitar to be fixed!!!( that's another story!!) I decided after I had gone in a few shops that as I was passing Cafe Nero I would pop in! ( I wasn't going to name the coffee shop but we name and shame establishments, so today I am gong to name and give them some fame!!)
I walked in, it was warm and the barista was bantering with his colleague, before I even asked for a drink I asked to use the facilities he smiled and gave me the key. I came back ordered my drink
(I am sorry to all my coffee drinking friends that I only ordered a peppermint tea!!! )
He asked me if I had a loyalty card I said that I didn't have one and he asked if I would like one when I said that I did not , he looked me in the eye sadly and said "Will you not be returning ever?" This made me chuckle! I told him that I didn't live in the town but thanked him for the tea and walked out of the shop. as I meandered back to the guitar shop sipping warm cup of tea I was smiling! Why? That man did his job well, he made me feel welcomed and special!
I started to think how often I have been to Coffee shops and felt the same and others where the barista has been too stressed to show any care for their customers!!
I started to think about community and how Churches should may be take note at how good Coffee establishments treat their customers and that we as a church could follow their example and make people feel so welcome and special. I was not ridiculed for ordering peppermint tea when there was so many different luxurious coffees available, as a church family,welcoming people in means accepting them where they are at even if they don't yet believe what we believe.
May be another idea for churches you could provide good coffee!!!
Thursday, 18 December 2014
Lessons from Mary
Lessons from Mary
I only heard this song this year and it really touched me 'Mary did you know?' Here are the words
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
That your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered
Will soon deliver you
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will calm a storm with His hand?
Did you know
That your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby
You've kissed the face of God
Mary, did you know?
The blind will see
The deaf will hear
And the dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know
That your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding
Is the Great I Am
Oh Mary did you know?
I can imagine she never knew all that Jesus could achieve or what her life would turn out like.
Luke ch 1 tells how Mary was visited by an angel, wow she was highly favoured and chosen,It reads that she was troubled! I bet that was an understatement I bet she was scared witless! It's not every day a heavenly being comes to visit!
She was told she would have a baby, at that point I am sure she thought well this angel has got the wrong person, God surely told the angel to visit someone else as she was still a virgin so there was no way that she could have a baby!
Mary was not afraid to question the angel or God but this angel had an answer for everything,the angel told her that this conception was going to be the Holy Spirit over shadowing her and she would bear the son Of God.
Even after Mary's fears and questions she said 'Yes' to God'
" I am the Lords servant" let it be as you have said.
Now Mary would have had to go and told Joseph this, she would have had to suffer humiliation there would have been a possibility that Joseph would have cast her out and not married her as that was their tradition in those days. Even so Mary still went and told him all that had happened with the angel visitor!
I wonder what would have happened if Mary had said "no" to God! He would have had to choose someone else!
In v 45 we read of Mary's visit to Elizabeth,and her response to seeing Mary was beautiful.
"Blessed is she who has believed that what The Lord has said to her will be accomplished"
Mary had firm faith in God knowing He would give His best best for her life she trusted him completely.
This Christmas time what has God asked of you? To forgive someone, to let God into your life and receive his love and forgiveness? To go to someone and help them? Are you willing to say Yes to God?
God's word are full of promises to us. What has God promised you that you, like Mary have a choice to believe that He will accomplish what He promised you? Or to live in constant anxiety and fear not trusting God to keep His promises!
God is faithful, keep saying Yes to Him as it may change your life but it could also impact others life as Mary impacted ours.
Never give up believing that God will keep His promises to you.
May you know Gods nearness this Christmas.
I only heard this song this year and it really touched me 'Mary did you know?' Here are the words
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
That your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered
Will soon deliver you
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will calm a storm with His hand?
Did you know
That your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby
You've kissed the face of God
Mary, did you know?
The blind will see
The deaf will hear
And the dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know
That your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding
Is the Great I Am
Oh Mary did you know?
I can imagine she never knew all that Jesus could achieve or what her life would turn out like.
Luke ch 1 tells how Mary was visited by an angel, wow she was highly favoured and chosen,It reads that she was troubled! I bet that was an understatement I bet she was scared witless! It's not every day a heavenly being comes to visit!
She was told she would have a baby, at that point I am sure she thought well this angel has got the wrong person, God surely told the angel to visit someone else as she was still a virgin so there was no way that she could have a baby!
Mary was not afraid to question the angel or God but this angel had an answer for everything,the angel told her that this conception was going to be the Holy Spirit over shadowing her and she would bear the son Of God.
Even after Mary's fears and questions she said 'Yes' to God'
" I am the Lords servant" let it be as you have said.
Now Mary would have had to go and told Joseph this, she would have had to suffer humiliation there would have been a possibility that Joseph would have cast her out and not married her as that was their tradition in those days. Even so Mary still went and told him all that had happened with the angel visitor!
I wonder what would have happened if Mary had said "no" to God! He would have had to choose someone else!
In v 45 we read of Mary's visit to Elizabeth,and her response to seeing Mary was beautiful.
"Blessed is she who has believed that what The Lord has said to her will be accomplished"
Mary had firm faith in God knowing He would give His best best for her life she trusted him completely.
This Christmas time what has God asked of you? To forgive someone, to let God into your life and receive his love and forgiveness? To go to someone and help them? Are you willing to say Yes to God?
God's word are full of promises to us. What has God promised you that you, like Mary have a choice to believe that He will accomplish what He promised you? Or to live in constant anxiety and fear not trusting God to keep His promises!
God is faithful, keep saying Yes to Him as it may change your life but it could also impact others life as Mary impacted ours.
Never give up believing that God will keep His promises to you.
May you know Gods nearness this Christmas.
Wednesday, 12 November 2014
A season perspective
Here in beautiful England Autumn has arrived, as I drove down a boring motor way I was distracted by all the amazing colour splashed on every tree! The colour makes up for all the rain and fog we get this time of year!
Pretty soon winter will be here, I don't mind this season but it's not my favourite!!
These last few months I know that spiritually I have been in a place where I didn't want to be, life looked a little blacker, God appeared further away and communication with him seemed disconnected.
Then whilst reflecting in the bath!! ( where I do my thinking!) it hit me, I am in a autumn/ winter season a time where things are dieing off and life is just about putting one foot in front of another.
I started to think well just like yearly seasons it's only for a time, I just need to embrace it dig deep and know that it is only for a while, this season will pass and I will come into spring again!
Just thought I would share just in case anyone is feeling the same!
A great verse I was reminded of this week was from the book of Job, boy he went through a long winter of his soul where he felt so abandoned by God and everyone told him to just curse God even his wife told him to turn his back on his creator but this was his response
Job ch 2 v 15 Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?
Jobs friends then come and tell him that all his troubles are because of some uncofessed sin in his life and condemned him!
Job moans,shouts and cries out to God but he never turns his back on God, just like God didn't abandon Job!
Jobs winter season goes on a long while but then the sun begins to shine and God speaks into his life after a long silence, communication and their relationship is once again restored!
It's all about having a seasonal perspective!
Pretty soon winter will be here, I don't mind this season but it's not my favourite!!
These last few months I know that spiritually I have been in a place where I didn't want to be, life looked a little blacker, God appeared further away and communication with him seemed disconnected.
Then whilst reflecting in the bath!! ( where I do my thinking!) it hit me, I am in a autumn/ winter season a time where things are dieing off and life is just about putting one foot in front of another.
I started to think well just like yearly seasons it's only for a time, I just need to embrace it dig deep and know that it is only for a while, this season will pass and I will come into spring again!
Just thought I would share just in case anyone is feeling the same!
A great verse I was reminded of this week was from the book of Job, boy he went through a long winter of his soul where he felt so abandoned by God and everyone told him to just curse God even his wife told him to turn his back on his creator but this was his response
Job ch 2 v 15 Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?
Jobs friends then come and tell him that all his troubles are because of some uncofessed sin in his life and condemned him!
Job moans,shouts and cries out to God but he never turns his back on God, just like God didn't abandon Job!
Jobs winter season goes on a long while but then the sun begins to shine and God speaks into his life after a long silence, communication and their relationship is once again restored!
It's all about having a seasonal perspective!
Sunday, 19 October 2014
Free from Guilt!
This morning I had the privilege of witnessing a friends husband go through the waters of baptism!
What was amazing about that you wonder? Well he shared his testamony and told the whole church that he had lived as a Muslim for all of his life until very recently!! His wife had met with Jesus and her life had been changed,
I met with her and she told me that she felt so guilty as a Muslim as she felt she didn't pray enough or well enough! When she gave her life over to Jesus she experienced real freedom from guilt.
This morning her husband testified that he saw such love and compassion in her that he gave his life to Jesus and he too immediately felt this same freedom from guilt!
It made me really think about how we often as Christians beat ourselves with an imaginary whip! We feel the burden of guilt that we don't do enough for God, we don't pray enough, We don't love enough etc etc!! Jesus took all that guilt for us when he died on the cross HE is enough!
Psalm 32 v 5 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the guilt of my sin!'
When we become his child we no longer have to live in guilt we are free!!
Jesus died so that we can be free, it's a gift that we daily need to live in!
Our freedom is not an excuse to go and do what we want but a gift that we live out, loving God and others not because of guilt or obligation but as a response to His love gift to us.
What was amazing about that you wonder? Well he shared his testamony and told the whole church that he had lived as a Muslim for all of his life until very recently!! His wife had met with Jesus and her life had been changed,
I met with her and she told me that she felt so guilty as a Muslim as she felt she didn't pray enough or well enough! When she gave her life over to Jesus she experienced real freedom from guilt.
This morning her husband testified that he saw such love and compassion in her that he gave his life to Jesus and he too immediately felt this same freedom from guilt!
It made me really think about how we often as Christians beat ourselves with an imaginary whip! We feel the burden of guilt that we don't do enough for God, we don't pray enough, We don't love enough etc etc!! Jesus took all that guilt for us when he died on the cross HE is enough!
Psalm 32 v 5 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the guilt of my sin!'
When we become his child we no longer have to live in guilt we are free!!
Jesus died so that we can be free, it's a gift that we daily need to live in!
Our freedom is not an excuse to go and do what we want but a gift that we live out, loving God and others not because of guilt or obligation but as a response to His love gift to us.
Wednesday, 13 August 2014
Faith fact and feeling!
For a while now I have been thinking about how our walk with God can be so messed up because we rely so much on our feelings! I often say " I don't feel close to God, or I haven't felt God's closeness for a while!
Along time ago I heard a story and it really helped me! I hope I can remember it all!!
There were three women waiting for Jesus to pass through their town, they all stood together, the excitement of the crowds was intense. After what felt like an age, Jesus appeared.
He walked up to the first woman and held her hands and looked into her eyes and spoke gently to her and spent a good ten minutes in conversation. When he walked up to the second woman he smiled and touched her shoulder and then moved straight to the third women, he just smiled at her and walked on by.
The people who were with Jesus were puzzled and asked him " What was all that about? why did you treat each woman so differently? Jesus replied " The first woman had only just started her journey with me, she was new to faith and needed my time and reassurance, the second one had been a follower for a while and only needed a touch to assure her that I was still part of her life. The third woman had been with me a long time her faith was rooted in the fact that I loved her and always will she didn't need to feel my presence.
I wonder, can you place your self in one of those ladies shoes? It challenged me, is my faith so rooted in my faith in God that I rely solely on Him and not my feelings?
Hebrews ch 11 v 1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
V6 Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.
God is so happy when we cling to Him in faith.
My challenge to myself and to you if you choose to accept it is,
Seek God not an experience or a feeling he may or may not give you.
Trust in the fact you are loved by Him wether you feel it or not!
Saturday, 21 June 2014
When God is silent!
Do you ever feel that God is ignoring your prayers? Do you ever feel totally separated from Him?
Or is it just me?
As most of you who are close to us know, we have for the last few months been looking for jobs as we feel God wants us to move, you will also feel I am sure that we are totally bonkers!! I know we are! But I am ok with that!!
These last few weeks have been particularly hard as the summer is vast approaching and that means we need to decide about schools for the boys and at what point do we say ok we are staying?!!
It has been like an emotional roller coaster of emotions,Clive applies for jobs then we look at the area and then look at schools then we get the email sorry you haven't been short listed then we start all over again!!
We pray harder God what shall we do? The boss remains silent!
Other prayers gets answered and quickly and a friend reminds me that God is listening and answering you to encourage you that He is not deaf and you are still connected to Him! Phew!
Yesterday I took some time out and started journaling with God it's from a book called Journalling as a spiritual practise by Helen Cepero.
She suggests you write the date on the page then your name and start writing or waffling in my case to God, then write Gods name and wait and see what comes into your mind!
I was sceptical but it was amazing! I read first Proverbs ch 2 v 8
For he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. (Proverbs 2:8 NIV)
Which made me realise ok God is just shutting doors and guarding us from error, then I just ranted to Him about all my anxieties mostly regarding my boys!
Then I waited and felt God say " you are trying to figure it all out yourself give it to me. It's like your doing a jigsaw and you only see pieces in front of you, I see it from a birds eye view, I see the completed picture. Keep trusting in me"
So we are still in the same place of the unknown but I feel more at peace because God knows me and my family and He has us covered!
When God is silent!
Do you ever feel that God is ignoring your prayers? Do you ever feel totally separated from Him?
Or is it just me?
As most of you who are close to us know, we have for the last few months been looking for jobs as we feel God wants us to move, you will also feel I am sure that we are totally bonkers!! I know we are! But I am ok with that!!
These last few weeks have been particularly hard as the summer is vast approaching and that means we need to decide about schools for the boys and at what point do we say ok we are staying?!!
It has been like an emotional roller coaster of emotions,Clive applies for jobs then we look at the area and then look at schools then we get the email sorry you haven't been short listed then we start all over again!!
We pray harder God what shall we do? The boss remains silent!
Other prayers gets answered and quickly and a friend reminds me that God is listening and answering you to encourage you that He is not deaf and you are still connected to Him! Phew!
Yesterday I took some time out and started journaling with God it's from a book called Journalling as a spiritual practise by Helen Cepero.
She suggests you write the date on the page then your name and start writing or waffling in my case to God, then write Gods name and wait and see what comes into your mind!
I was sceptical but it was amazing! I read first Proverbs ch 2 v 8
For he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. (Proverbs 2:8 NIV)
Which made me realise ok God is just shutting doors and guarding us from error, then I just ranted to Him about all my anxieties mostly regarding my boys!
Then I waited and felt God say " you are trying to figure it all out yourself give it to me. It's like your doing a jigsaw and you only see pieces in front of you, I see it from a birds eye view, I see the completed picture. Keep trusting in me"
So we are still in the same place of the unknown but I feel more at peace because God knows me and my family and He has us covered!
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